Severe asthma can be very unpredictable. I can go months where I feel fine, I manage to get some sleep, I find that I am able to reduce my prednisolone and I can lead a normal life, when things get really good I even occasionally dare to leave the house without my nebuliser. These good months usually occur over the summer months but those of you who read this blog on a regular basis will be aware that so far this year my asthma is far from stable / controlled and I am feeling anything but fine. Putting it bluntly every day is a struggle, some worse than others and it is really starting to get to me now. I am used to feeling like this from say March to early May when I am recovering from back to back hospital admissions and waiting for the better weather to kick in. The trouble is though that this year despite only having had one hospital admission rather than the usual three or four, since my discharge some five months ago I can’t seem to have a run of more than three or four good days together. This is not normal for me and apart from the obvious frustrations, everything is taking its toll, I am not sleeping, I struggle to get to work, I struggle to stay at work and I feel flat and lethargic all the time, this all on top of struggling to relieve the tightness of my chest, my shortness of breath and constant coughing. When I am not at work I spend most of my time laying around the house and hammering the nebuliser. I have not managed to reduce my prednisolone dose to less than 30mg which is causing other problems and side effects as well as sending my blood sugar levels / diabetes all over the place (though this seems to be settling down now due to high doses of insulin). My social life is not good and I am totally fed up.
I spent last weekend in the Lake District but spent more time in my room on the nebuliser than what I did spending time enjoying myself. As things stand I feel that I will spend this weekend at home sat taking the nebuliser and trying my hardest to relax and get some sleep. I can’t see me spending much time enjoying myself or socialising.
Next Thursday I am due to see my consultant and it will be interesting to see what she has to say, my medication at the moment (including my Xolair) must be doing some good as I have had fewer hospital admissions and fewer asthma attacks, however my current control and quality of life is not great, eventually something has to change as I feel I can’t go on like this.
I am due to go on holiday in a couple of weeks but rather than looking forward to it I am beginning to dread the thought of it, the thought of spending a week away from home, having to spend time on an aeroplane and then a change of climate for a week, none of it really appeals at all.
I know that many severe asthmatics seem to be suffering a lot this year, whether this is due to the current strange and changeable weather I don’t know but for those of you having it rough at the minute and finding every day a struggle I share your pain.